My Brother

When we were kids in Texas we used to swim every morning in a river near the house we painted red. One day we saw what we thought was a dead child but it was half a dead pig wrapped in magazine centrefolds caught up in the reeds and stinking blue. When our father died my brother cried and I didn’t. We moved to Europe with our mother and lived without money for two years in a top floor apartment where we felt too hot or too cold and always hungry. My mother wrote but no one cared. She worked some days. She hung a picture of our father on the wet wall. We huddled scared and learned the language and we listened to the dying Algerian woman who lived below us, and her living sons rattled the doors. My brother was raped twice in the stairwell, once by cops. I carried a knife and spent a year with my head caved in. Our mother died of course. My brother went to New York and I didn’t. I came here with a girl I knew and her daughter and we have not moved since. Not a muscle.

My brother is an indie music star, half famous now, and we have not talked in many years and in interviews he says he was an only child and he tells the story of the dead pig but not the story of the Parisian stairwell. I understand this. I love my brother. And I will kill you if you hurt him. I will kill you if you hurt him. I will kill anyone.

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Things to read and do

Thierry Guitard's illustration for Goo Book in The New Yorker

This week’s issue of The New Yorker has a new story of mine called Goo Book . The issue is dated April 11th but it’s out now (April 4th). Apologies to those of you who were expecting it last week (or the week before), but world events intervened and The New Yorker was understandably pressed for space.

There is also a brief Q&A on The New Yorker website about the story which you can read here .

The current issue of Zoetrope All-Story also has a new story called Rothko Eggs . The version printed in the magazine has some errors that crept in during a copy edit. There isn’t a huge number of them, but they do affect the flow of the story, and one on the last page alters the ending. So Zoetrope have put the correct version of the story up on their website, and you can read it here . Ideally, go and buy the magazine – there are some great photographs in there by Mark Romanek; there’s a David Means story; there’s other fiction by Johanna Suskind and Frances de Pontes Peebles; there’s an old Raymond Carver – then print off my story from the website and stick it in there using glue, Sellotape or spit.

I wrote a review of Kevin Barry’s début novel City of Bohane for the Irish Times, and that came out on Saturday. You can read it here .

Finally, I’ll be in Dublin next weekend for the Franco Irish Literary Festival , which takes place at Dublin Castle. This is the second time I’ve attended this festival – it’s a great opportunity to meet and hear writers from France and Ireland (and elsewhere). I’m doing a Café Littéraire on Friday 8th at 6pm with Philippe Forest and Julia Franck; and a Literary Brunch at 11am on Sunday 10th with Claude Arnaud, Eric Fottorino, Virginie Linhart and Micheál Ó Conghaile. All events take place in the Coach House in Dublin Castle, and are free and open to all. Come and say hello.

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With regard to J.H. Prynne

The nature of Twitter is such that for those (those) who use the device (it is a device, as certainly as if it was an actual device – a small metallic box slung around the neck or embedded in the soft flesh of the inner thigh, or worn fashionably on the wrist) are in breach of their own promise to themselves made as children – to always be truthful, if not precisely then broadly, in the course of the day.

I use Twitter.

It is now possible to be alone in a room and think of something funny and using the device share your joke immediately with friends and strangers regardless of geography or time, and to remain alone in the room. This is a breach of a simple law of solitude, which is that when you are solitary you must not be with others. It is also a breach of privacy, the privacy of the joke, and of the room. These are not unimportant things. Look at the room you are in. What is there about it that allows you? Who the fuck do yo think you are, sitting in a fucking room?

Children use Twitter and old people also. Criminals and governments. Murderers and the families of the missing. Office workers and the dead.

When I decide to tweet, I am making a decision to say something out loud, even though I may very well be alone. Usually I am alone. Why would I want to use the device if I think of something to say while in company? That would be rude. So most of the tweets I decide to post are posted out of solitude. From solitude and because of solitude. As are, I’m sure, most tweets. People are alone in rooms, alone in trains, alone at work amongst their workmates who are similarly alone, alone in pubs, waiting for others or not waiting for others, alone at the gap between not being alone and not being alone once more. Now people are alone together.

This is of course simply a particular refinement of what the internet itself has done to us. It has allowed us to pretend to be alone, and to pretend to be together. Or it is a new sort of alone, or a new sort of together. Or we are all dead already and nothing is certain. Or it is not happening. Have you considered that it is not in fact happening. That you are the only person who is on Twitter. That all the people you follow and all the posts you read are in fact nothing more than the ricochets of your own solitude which in previous ages might have passed for visions and visitations, the crazed spasms of the gods, hurling laws at you in your fever. Have we severed ourselves from the involuntary hard-on for life.

You do not have to carry the device. But you are lonely, boo hoo, you pathetic piece of shit. So you carry the device.

Similarly, there are rapists who use Twitter. And economists. Poets and paedophiles and people from America. People with stupid hair, body odour, pretension, bad taste. People who have lain naked on iron girders in the snow. People with rain in their kitchens. People who do not move when you kick them. People who follow you home and disappear, leaving you alone but not really.

But the real problem is the people who believe in god.

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Fintan O’Toole

Fintan O'Toole
I have been reading a lot about economics recently. In an effort to understand, I suppose, how exactly the financial crisis (ongoing) came about, and what it means for the way we do things, and whether the way we do things might conceivably change, be changed, fundamentally, for the better. I imagine this is pretty common thinking at the moment. As is the realisation (new for many) that the way we do things is actually the way things are done  to us. Your wages, your rent or the cost of your mortgage, your savings or your debt, the food you can afford to put on the table, the education of your children and the welfare of your elderly, the quality of your surroundings and your life, the chance of you getting a job, what you live on while unemployed, where you live, the portion of your taxes spent on killing people or on allowing others to get away without paying tax, the treatment you can expect if you become ill, the assumptions made in your name about what it is you value, the bonuses, the pay offs, the deals, the theft – the killing and the theft – all of these things are done to you by other people. They are not natural inevitable forces beyond anyone’s control. Behind each and every one of them lies a series of decisions, ideologically based, taken by a tiny group of people whose interest lies in obscuring the fact of their own power, and who spend a lot of energy getting you and I to look elsewhere in anger – at each other for example. The great opportunity that the financial crisis offers us is that of training our gaze on the man behind the curtain. That little shit. Look at him. Let’s kill him. Let’s kick his fucking head in.

This is why I am a novelist and not a journalist. I have anger issues.

Anyway. One of Ireland’s most famous journalists, Fintan O’Toole, has spent a couple of decades writing eloquently about the nonsensical and deeply corrupted way in which the state of Ireland is organised and run. In recent years, mainly through his pieces in the Irish Times, he has precisely and with passion detailed the catastrophic behaviour of the banks and their property developer clients who have run Ireland for their own benefit, and the craven stupidity of a whole generation of politicians whose self regard and incompetence has facilitated them. The economic crisis (ongoing) in Ireland is bigger, more profound, more terrifying, more absolute and more revealing of the perpetrators than it is in most other places. Ireland’s ‘elite’ has left the country bankrupt and shattered, and probably – for many of its current school and university leavers – uninhabitable.

In the last couple of years O’Toole has written two really quite remarkable books – Ship Of Fools and Enough Is Enough . Ship Of Fools documents, in all its astonishing and depressing absurdity, the apparent boom and definite bust of the Irish economy. While it took place against the background of the world financial crisis, the Irish disaster was really its own sort of thing altogether. What happened worldwide with the collapse of Lehman Brothers and the near collapse of the rest of the financial apparatus, and the subsequent massive rescue of this apparatus by governments, was a complicated, fine grained sort of fuck up. Technically labyrinthine. You can get a headache reading the details of how it happened. The Irish one was simpler. It was so stupid it could make you cry.

O’Toole opens Ship Of Fools with a  juxtaposition. February 2009 – former Taoiseach Bertie Ahern addressed the members of the Honduran National Business Council on “The Celtic Tiger: The Irish Model Of Development”. Ahern explained how as Finance Minister and Taoiseach he had led Ireland to the remarkable position of being amongst the wealthiest nations on the planet. It was a regular gig – Ahern travelled the world doing this speech, at a reported fee of €30,000 a go. But he was running out of audiences. By February 2009 the Irish collapse was well under way. The day after he spoke in Honduras, it was revealed that the Anglo Irish Bank (a commercial bank hugely invested in the grotesquely over-inflated property market which had begun to crash in 2008) “had over the previous few years given €225 million in loans to its own directors, chief among them its chairman, and Ahern’s good friend, Seán Fitzpatrick.” In the previous month Seán Fitzpatrick made a speech during which he addressed the rapidly developing crisis in Irish banking by saying that the government should cut its spending on what he called the “sacred cows” of Irish society – children, the elderly, and health care. In March 2010 Seán Fitzpatrick was arrested for fraud. In September, the government announced that the estimated cost of the Anglo Irish bailout would eventually be €29.3 billion. Why is the state bailing out a bank that has no positive social role whatsoever? Because the Fianna Fáil government, in what is widely believed to be the worst decision made in the history of our malformed state, undertook to guarantee all deposits and borrowings for the six Irish-owned banks, on behalf of the Irish taxpayer. The worldwide con-trick of private profit / public loss was repeated in Ireland. But in Ireland, the politicians looked very much like they were on the right side of the deal. One of the factors that led to the end of Brian Cowen’s political career was the revelation that as Taoiseach he had played a round of golf and had dinner with Seán Fitzpatrick and other Anglo Irish directors not long before the bank guarantee was signed off.

What Ship Of Fools does brilliantly is expose the culture of political and financial corruption and elitism in Ireland that has been (a tolerated, accepted, even celebrated) part of the fabric of the state for the entire history of the state. And it traces the inexorable path that winds from localism and clientelism to the property insanity that distorted Ireland’s notion of itself and its wealth. The truth is, there never was a Celtic Tiger. Ireland borrowed a lot of money and Irish people passed it around amongst themselves like idiots playing three card tricks on each other. It’s true that the country went from being backward, poor and miserable to being a reasonably civilised and prosperous place over the course of a few good years in the 1990s. But then it simply went berserk. Ships Of Fools is – by a long way – the best account I’ve read of it.

In Enough Is Enough , O’Toole steps up to the challenge of plotting the path forward. (It’s typical of the Irish public discourse that intelligent criticism is always attacked with angry shouts of well-what-would-you-have-done-you-smart-arse? O’Toole takes that at face value and tells us.) The book goes over some of the ground covered in Ship Of Fools , but it’s calmer, more systematic. His basic contention is that we have never, for all our blather, created a Republic in the true sense. We have cobbled together an almost feudal state, disinterested in the well-being of the many when it interferes with the interests of the powerful few; a state hopelessly compromised in its relationship with its own “citizens” by its relationship with the Catholic Church. Above all he identifies the lack of any shared notion of what it is we are about, and what it is we want to do for ourselves and for each other. It’s a fragile trick of self deception that allows us to call ourselves a Republic at all. And that is most evident in what we have recently been through :

If we hold in our heads the ideal of the boom years as a period of stunning prosperity, we will not understand why the boom failed. More fatally, we will be trying to ‘return’ to a place we never really were.

The book is structured almost, you’d think, like a manifesto. O’Toole identifies five broad myths about Ireland. The Republic, Representation, Parliamentary Democracy, Charity and Wealth. And they are myths. Which means that they do not, in any sense that matters, exist. And he names five ‘decencies’ upon which a real Republic might be built : Security (by which he means housing), Health, Education, Equality and Citizenship. And in straightforward, clear language he lays out real concrete steps that could be taken, immediately, to move Ireland away from the despair and anger which currently paralyses it, towards a society of which we might begin to be proud.

And pride is not a minor variable in the Irish equation. There is a terrible hobbling concern in most Irish people about what others think. It was very noticeable over the ECB/IMF bailout. There was a sense of shame. A sense that Ireland had failed. Ireland has failed. But it’s failed for very specific reasons, and been failed by specific people – politicians for the most part. At the end of Enough Is Enough , just in case anybody might still need something more direct, O’Toole lists “Fifty Ideas For Action”. Most of them are, I would have thought by now, completely uncontroversial and should be undertaken immediately by the new government. Others are more nebulous. A few of them I’d take issue with. But these are 50 ideas I’d vote for. Number 50 is “Declare a republic.” There is something very stirring about that – a hopefulness, and an aspiration towards pride that any decent Irish woman or man will identify with. We have a spent 90 years being timid, diffident, half-arsed and stupid. Now we have a chance to start again. It would be a tragedy not to take it.

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Having been attacked and derided and ridiculed by the political, business and media gobshites who were the fluffers of the bogus boom, you’d think O’Toole would be in a fairly good position now to have an eager audience not only for his diagnosis of the problems of  the failed state but for his suggested remedies as well. And you’d be right – he does have an audience, and a lot of (late but deserved) respect. But the audience remains largely passive, placid, afraid, and there has been little sign in the recent election or in the discourse since (that I’ve been able to hear from here) that anyone has really heard much that he’s said. O’Toole, sensibly and calmly, wants a new Republic. A new state. As the wonderful Michael D Higgins put it in his valedictory speech in the Dáil in January “The model that is broken should not be repaired.” In February, Ireland elected a new government, dominated by the repairmen of Fine Gael.

Which may be, in part at least, Fintan O’Toole’s fault.

Towards the end of last year, when Enough Is Enough was published and a general election was certain to be called within a few short months, people began to wonder whether O’Toole might himself run for the Dáil. As the Fianna Fáil government collapsed in farce and ignominy in February, he was silent. It seemed certain that he was going to run. And then, an announcement in the Irish Times, summed up on his Twitter account on January 30th – “Apologies to everyone who was hoping for an electoral initiative. I’ve never worked harder or been more disappointed. Nearly worked too.”

What nearly worked, it turned out, when O’Toole appeared on a late night RTÉ politics show the next night, was a sort of loose alliance of what might be called “prominent” people from various walks of life, to be called Democracy Now. (We’ve learned since then that they would have included economist de-jour David McWilliams, sportsmen Liam Griffin and Dónal Óg Cusack, and Shane Ross, a right wing ex-Fine Gael senator and former stock broker, who did in the end run as an independent, topping the poll with a huge vote in Dublin South. His views, diametrically opposed to O’Toole’s in many ways, were apparently to be accommodated in the new group  with a voting-on-conscience arrangement, with the only pre-agreed policy being to call for a referendum on the terms of the ECB/IMF bank bailout.) Unfortunately with O’Toole on RTÉ that night was Eamon Dunphy, the ex-footballer and football pundit, ghost writer for Roy Keane and U2, radio celebrity, banal provocateur and general all round gobshite. And another one of those who would have been a candidate in the aborted attempt on the Dáil. The show turned to farce when another panelist, the political academic Elaine Byrne, made the not unreasonable observation that O’Toole and Dunphy looked liked “more middle-aged angry men, who are telling us what the world should look like and then … they talk the talk and don’t walk the walk.” Dunphy railed, accusing her of sexism, ageism, and various crimes against his dignity, and looking generally like he’d never been so gravely wounded in his life. O’Toole just sat there looking bloody miserable.

The reason for not running was, in the end, so undramatically prosaic and dull that no one I’ve talked to believes a word of it, and yet can’t quite rouse themselves into thinking up a reasonable conspiracy theory either. It’s just too boring. According to O’Toole there was simply not enough time. The election had come too soon. They couldn’t get organised to “do it properly”. Never mind that independents all over the country seemed to be able to manage it.  The O’Toole people had jobs, families, these things are difficult, the upheaval …. and it petered out into a sort of mumble of the-dog-ate-my-homework-sir . It looked and sounded pathetic.

And so there was (with the honourable exception of the United Left Alliance, who did very well, despite predictable marginalisation in the mainstream media and – perhaps not unrelated – a fairly low key campaign) no obvious vehicle for the anger and resentment of an electorate finally waking up to their own terrible electoral mistakes. Labour damaged themselves with what looked very like a slavering interest in a turn at government above all else, with polices that drifted all over the place like kites put up in a storm. The Greens had facilitated the Fianna Fáil disaster for the previous five years and were simply unthinkable. Sinn Féin looked like a terrible mixed bag – opportunistic on the one hand, and, well, inopportune on the other. Fine Gael looked like they knew what they were talking about (repetition will often do that for you) and promised above all to be Not-Fianna-Fáil. As for the independents – and there were many – what was the point of voting for a candidate who would, if elected, be almost entirely powerless and unable to influence the national debate? A lot of people voted for them anyway.

So, the Greens lost all their seats; Sinn Féin did well but not well enough to overtake Fianna Fáil, who were reduced to what is probably the optimum size for a party that needs a good ten year conversation with itself before making a comeback; Labour did well enough to get them their prize, which was government with Fine Gael, who did well too, but who, in the circumstances, and a little like the Conservatives in the UK last year, should really have done a lot better. Perhaps the reason they didn’t is that people could see the plain truth – that Fine Gael policy is Fianna Fáil policy with the barefaced cheek taken out. The electorate has put its energy into punishing Fianna Fáil largely because it didn’t have any other strategy to put its energy into. It would be ludicrous to suggest that had Democracy Now got its arse in gear it would have ushered in a new dawn in Irish politics. But it could have dramatically altered the terms of the debate during the course of the campaign. And it’s not entirely unreasonable to suggest that it might have affected the outcome – probably to the detriment of Labour and the ULA – and could have resulted in Fintan O’Toole holding the balance of power.

I would have liked that. I would have liked it a lot.

Though reading Ship Of Fools and Enough Is Enough made me quite glad that Democracy Now was deferred, or at least that O’Toole himself remains out of electoral politics. While the Dáil remains dysfunctional, leaving the non-government benches – as O’Toole points out – effectively without any powers over government legislation or any ability to initiate any legislation itself, his presence there would be pretty much useless. And getting him onto the government benches would have been a long shot, and would inevitably have involved an ugly series of compromises. A seat in the Dáil would presumably have limited his ability to continue as a working journalist as well. And it is as a working journalist that O’Toole is most needed. The clarity of his thinking and analysis, and the calm head he brings to a catastrophic mess that prompts panic or despair in most of us, is invaluable.

And anyway, Eamon Dunphy might have held the balance of power.

If you’re interested in Ireland, if you’re interested in what’s wrong with it, and what might be done to fix it, then these books are essential reading. I’d like to think that in generations to come they will be familiar to Irish citizens as a part of what became the foundations of a new Republic. For them to end up as footnotes in a history of a state folding in on itself and failing utterly would be tragic. And bloody typical.

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from Chłopców I Dziewcząt

There was a bad smell in the alley of dogs or shit or kitchen scraps but as soon as he noticed it he placed it somewhere – somewhere else – he allocated it a place and it stayed there and did not bother him unduly. The taller boy had a small rip in the shoulder of his t-shirt where the seam had parted, and he stared at the teardrop shape of the skin there as if there was something particular in it that he wanted, something that was not available to his hands which were on the boy’s waist, on his back, beneath his t-shirt; or to his lips, which were on the boy’s lips, his cheek, his neck. His eyes returned again and again to the tiny piece of skin on this shoulder. As if it was more important. The other boy, the redhead, stood back a little, an outstretched arm running a hand over the others’ bodies, and he turned to him, and reached out, and pulled him to them, so that their three mouths met and kissed, and their lips hesitated in the tiny triangular space between them, and their tongues danced in the air, a holy breath, a spirit, a trinity of desire, creating something out of the gap between them that they wanted to close because it was not possible to close it. And as soon as he had thought of that he thought of something else. A hand slipped under his waistband, touching his arse. That was the redhead, he thought. He shivered but it was not cold. He looked again at the tall boy’s shoulder. He moved his head, bent it, bowed, and kissed that important patch of skin, as if it were a relic, a sacred place. His body hummed. His tongue tasted the dry sweet consecrated flesh, but it seemed not to be what he had thought it was. He felt for the tall boy’s cock, felt it through the cheap rough fabric of his work trousers. He sucked his tongue and bit his lips. The redheaded boy was rushing them. The alley was patient. There was no noise but the holy spirit and the night. He unbuckled the boy’s jeans, pushed them down, tugged at his underwear, felt his hard warm cock in his hand, squeezed it, awoke. He awoke. They were three boys in an alley. He knew it was hopeless. He knew it even as he dropped to his knees and tasted the tall boy’s cock in his mouth like the taste of warm bottled water on a beach in the summer. He knew it even as he took the redhead’s cock as well. He knew it as he stood and they together unclothed him and the tall boy bent and kissed his chest, his stomach, and the redheaded boy kissed his buttocks, parted them with his lips, licked his hole. He knew it all the time. He stared at the teardrop shape of skin on the tall boy’s shoulder and he knew. It was hopeless.

Daniel Zawadzki, Chłopców I Dziewcząt, 1976.

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[taken from a series portentuosly entitled Fragments Of Mistranslations From Books Trapped Outside English By A Writer Trapped Inside English And A Dying Body, some of which appeared, mistranslated as Translations From Uninhabited Books, in The Stinging Fly, Issue 16/Volume Two.]

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from Die Enttäuschung der zeitgenössischen irischen Literatur

O’Reilly on the other hand, in both his early stories and in the novel Watermark, presents the countervailing view of the body as host, as accommodating platform for, as it were, excursions elsewhere, into the world external to the body. So it is that the mind/body self/nation tension of the writers I have examined in the preceding chapter is both subsumed and externalised as a personal worldly discomfort expressed in terms of sexual misalignment, not with the erotic other, but with the self consciously divided self, projected outwards, with both the cover of irony and the cover of sincerity. The frustration/celebration has become one of the failure of expression to ease the discomfort of repression. Release has not released us. The dog barks still. This finds its obvious political metaphor in O’Reilly’s most accessible work, the novel The Swing Of Things, in which the flirtation between repression and expression, hiding and revealing, finds fractured (and occasionally unified) representation in the failure of the “peace process” to “process” anything at all other than its own terms, leaving the debris of unreconciled opposites – past/present, violence/love, responsibility/self expression, city/nature – foregrounded as the contemporary furniture of Irish literature. But what sort of furniture is this? What sort of chairs and tables and dressers are we here confronted with? And where, it might be asked, does one hang up one’s coat?

Max Schilling, Die Enttäuschung der zeitgenössischen irischen Literatur, 2010.

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[taken from a series portentuosly entitled Fragments Of Mistranslations From Books Trapped Outside English By A Writer Trapped Inside English And A Dying Body, some of which appeared, mistranslated as Translations From Uninhabited Books, in The Stinging Fly, Issue 16/Volume Two.]

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from Od tego czasu Polska

The dream of sublime integration with a more comfortable world of open fields and clear skies and clean water, where one may experience, if not freedom, then a feeling of freedom of movement – both literally and in the sense of one’s conversation and thought and daily diversions – this dream has become mired. The skies are thunderous, the water is brackish, the fields have turned to muck. Instead of relaxation, the post communist state has introduced, of course, a febrile and all pervading competition. The threat has now become not one of potential state interference, where one might be punished for some perceived breach of law or etiquette or mere thought, but the risk of personal failure, where one might be punished for some imperceptible breach of the unwritten laws of success, aspiration, doing well, making the best of things, playing along. Playing along is common to both of these paradigms, as it is common to all. But our participation is no longer the point. It is no longer worth anything. Or, to be more precise, it is no longer worth anything to us. We cannot bargain with it. Playing at not playing along is, in the new Poland, a much more difficult role. There is no script. There is no clear model. There is no encouraging geographically located chorus of encouragement. No promised land. No West. If you choose to opt out of this game, you must find your own way. And you will not be rewarded with martyrdom or alarm or notoriety or opprobrium. You will simply be ignored. The best you can hope for is a casual dismissal. You are no longer a subversive, a freedom fighter, a dissenter. You are, at best, an eccentric. You do not threaten the game. You entertain the players. You are, in what is the most cruel appellation of this crushing neoliberal capitalism … an individual.

Olga Dudek, Od tego czasu Polska, 2006

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[taken from a series portentuosly entitled Fragments Of Mistranslations From Books Trapped Outside English By A Writer Trapped Inside English And A Dying Body, some of which appeared, mistranslated as Translations From Uninhabited Books, in The Stinging Fly, Issue 16/Volume Two.]

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from Die Dichter

My visit to the house of the poet is presaged by storms and a delayed ferry, on which the smell of vomit, when it finally takes to the seas, is overpowering and yet reassuring, reminding me as it does of nature’s casual dominance over us, and of our casual dominance over its recurring reminders. I recall the long work Legion Hall And Its Breakages, in which McLoughlin stamps his own melodramatic mark on this theme with his disordered lines of fluff and howlers, which ruin the new church and pins the altar boy beneath God’s hard beam, an Isaac formless, no test this time.

McLoughlin meets me at the door, his nearly eighty years not affecting him with much more than an attractively lined face and a slight hesitation on downhill slopes. His small cottage, warm and clean, faces south across a bare descending hill to the sea, the view spoiled only slightly by some ugly farm buildings and a scattering of sheep. The sea itself – turbulent, bruised, noisy – seems to delight him. His gaze turns to it automatically in every idle moment. All the chairs in the house seem angled towards a seaward window. His work room is lined with notebooks which he will not allow me to look at. Their spines suggest they are all the same. Whether full or empty I cannot tell. He has two dogs and a cat. There is a typewriter. There is even a small laptop computer, “for the emails” he says, and a telephone. But on his desk there are only two notebooks, a larger pad covered in doodles, and a tub full of pens and pencils. “I work very inefficiently” he tells me. “I lose lines. I can spend a day looking for a line I wrote last week. And when I find it, it has changed. Of course.” He pours us some fresh coffee and offers me breakfast. I decline, and he looks crestfallen.

“You must eat” he says. “Look at you. You are thin as paint. Please, I have bacon, sausages. Fresh eggs from the farm. You have never tasted eggs like them. Look! Look at this bread! Baked this morning, a mile from here. I have pudding, dense black pudding like treacle. What is wrong with you? You must eat! You must!”

He is almost angry. I still feel nauseous from the ferry. I nod. He begins to cook, and soon the small steamy kitchen is filled with the smell of frying. I think of his lines in Potter’s Last Morning, in which the sun fries an egg of land and sizzles the grass like rashers, and I excuse myself in search of the bathroom, but find only the front door, and the hill to the sea, and in the fresh blast of salty wind I roll down there in my own stomach like a ferret over a cliff.

Nathaniel Körtig, Die Dichter, 2006

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[taken from a series portentuosly entitled Fragments Of Mistranslations From Books Trapped Outside English By A Writer Trapped Inside English And A Dying Body, some of which appeared, mistranslated as Translations From Uninhabited Books, in The Stinging Fly, Issue 16/Volume Two.]

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from Chłopców I Dziewcząt

Her fingers, as with the levers of a terrible engine, dragged in a crawling and inexorable fashion the instrument of her hand along his naked leg, to his knee and his thigh. He could not breathe. The window filled his eyes, and he stared through its dirty glass, over her shoulder, into the smudged blue of the distant and impenetrable sky. He felt that he was not where he was. But he was not far away either. He was not, for example, in the sky. Her device encountered the material of his underpants, a thin layer of cheap blue fabric separating her knuckles from his squirming scrotum. He breathed and examined the glass that sat against the sky. The hand exerted pressure, precisely measured as if by detailed calculation, against his balls. She kissed his neck and his ear. He could smell her shampoo like a metal after rain. He could feel his penis strain his underpants and he knew that it was exuding a small dark oily patch against the blue where the tip was, and he knew that he was elsewhere, not in the sky, but not here either – in just his underpants on the bed with this girl. He was in the glass. He was in the glass between the girl and the sky, and he was smudged like the glass. Her finely crafted fingers operated in accurate configuration with the outline of his half remembered fears and their psychological neighbours his hopes, and manoeuvred their way under his balls and pressed against his body there, and his eyes closed. He was the glass.

Daniel Zawadzki, Chłopców I Dziewcząt, 1976.

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[taken from a series portentuosly entitled Fragments Of Mistranslations From Books Trapped Outside English By A Writer Trapped Inside English And A Dying Body, some of which appeared, mistranslated as Translations From Uninhabited Books, in The Stinging Fly, Issue 16/Volume Two.]

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